The Grind.

Remember when you were a kid and people told you "You can be anything you want to be if you just put your mind to it."

They forgot a little footnote that says: "Well, first you put your mind to it, then you will need to sacrifice a lot for it and never give up, no matter how difficult it may be. There will be tears, there will be low points, there will be times you will question yourself and skills and there will be times when you feel like it's all for nothing, but you have to keep going."

I am quickly realizing all this and more as the semester is progressing forward. My applications are in and I'm waiting for acceptance or rejection letters. I'm preparing my portfolio all while trying to stay focus during school all while trying to live my old life. Then I had a few weeks of low, low points in which I thought, THIS MAY NOT BE FOR ME. After a lot of back and forth, I understood what the problem was, it was me. I was trying to do everything I needed to do, while still trying to maintain my former life.

No, there is very little socializing to be done when you have 30+ hours of homework and projects to do. No, you cannot buy new and beautiful things because you are saving money for school and rent and eating $.29 ramen. No, you cannot participate in fun things all your friends are doing because they have full-time jobs and can afford it. No, there is no way you can just stay out late and relax because there is no time to just relax. And no, you can't keep socializing with everyone because it gets exhausting trying to reach out to people who don't respond and it will only make you feel inadequate.

Things have changed, because I have changed and this is exactly what I signed up for.

I signed up for late nights of practicing my sketches. I signed up for working on my 10th draft of a design. I signed up for the excitement of finally feeling more confident about life drawing. I signed up for the thrill of finishing a project after hours upon hours. I signed up for all the lows and the highs and I can't waste time questioning it.

I lost sight of this for a while. I felt left out from social activities. I compared myself to others and felt suffocated by my own grievances. I forgot that this was my path, my journey and my pace. I will get there. No good comes from rushing. I want to be the best designer I can be and that means constant learning, studying and practicing. I can admire, but I should not let it be muddled by envy. Let my admiration be my fuel for motivation. Let envy be just a fleeting moment. Let me push forward because there is no going back.

So I'm here to tell you, in case you didn't know, some friends and people may mot be there at the end of this, but those who matter, will. You may not get to do many fun things, but in the long run it will all be worth it and there will always be other things to do in the future. There will be low moments, but you have to push forward because nothing will beat that deep breath you take when you've finally reach your goal.

Yes, put your mind to it, but don't forget what that means. It means fully investing yourself into it. Sacrifice what you can. Trim the excess and push to always be better. Your future self will thank you.